We’re moving…
In the interests of keeping all my online stuff under one roof, I am moving my blog over to the AdoptResources website. You’ll find it at www.adoptresources.co.uk/blog/
The blogs will be the same, just under a different address. I’ll keep this one live but there won’t be any new content added… Looking forward to seeing you in our new home đ
Blogging carnival 2011
Last year I hosted a blogging carnival for National Adoption Week and was amazed at the response. I’m hosting one again this year and would love to hear from anyone who’d like to submit a post related to adoption.
I’m looking for posts from all perspectives in adoption – adoptee, adoptive parent, birth parent, prospective adopter, relative through adoption, practitioner… and from all viewpoints-good/bad/indifferent…
If you’d like to contribute, email details of your post to fiona@adoptresources.co.uk by October 28th. You don’t have to write a post specifically for the carnival. You don’t even have to have your own blog and if you’d like to submit something but don’t want to post it on your usual blog, email me the post and I can include it as a guest blog.
Looking forward to hearing from you…
Related posts
Adoption stories
Adoption Blog carnival
Be my guest
Adoption: targets and figures
New figures on the number of adoptions in England and Wales are reported in the media today with the general message that there needs to be more adoptions and the process needs to be speeded up.
I’m always wary of these calls to action. Adoption figures can be related in so many emotive ways… “languishing in care” or the contrast “forced adoption… child snatchers”, leading to calls to increase or decrease the numbers of adoptions.
Focussing solely on numbers means you miss the factors that create those numbers. More exploration of the figures is needed to see where the bottlenecks are and what part of the process can be improved to address these.
There are faults with the adoption process and care system and these need to be addressed by improving systems and processes and offering the right support to professionals and families. But a rush to change everything and speed things up could lead to important steps being missed.
Myths about who can and can’t adopt need to be debunked and the process of adoption demystified.
Most importantly for me, the support of families and children is paramount. The ongoing impact of early abuse and neglect on children who go on to adoption is not given the same recognition as that of the looked after child, with some families opting for a long term foster care arrangement rather than adoption so that they don’t lose specialist services for their child.
Regardless of the numbers, the end result of all these processes should be that a child is living in the family setting that is best for them and that they are given the best chance to thrive.
Related posts
It’s not about the numbers
What’s in your lunchbox?
I listened to a feature on packed lunches vs school lunches on the radio this morning. I’ve started off this school year with packed lunches for everyone – in previous year’s my initial enthusiasm for packed lunches has been replaced with the convenience of what my kids like to call a ‘pay lunch’.
What’s your preference? I can see the benefits of both – the school lunches can offer a hot and healthy alternative, but they can also present children with choices they’re not ready to make. On the other hand, packed lunches can contain carefully selected healthy options, but if you’re anything like me, the repertoire of offerings can get a bit boring.
Nutrition is so important both in terms of long term health and wellbeing and also on a day to day basis to keep energy levels matched with the physical and mental requirements of the school day. Trying to get the right balance can be a struggle some days, especially if there are any food fads on the go!
I’m going to stick with the packed lunches for now and throw in the odd ‘pay lunch’ for a bit of variety. What do you like about packed lunches or school lunches? Do you have any tips on keeping lunch boxes healthy and interesting?
Related posts
If you’re looking for ideas, Netmums have a good feature on lunchbox ideas.
Making faces
We learn about emotions from our earliest interactions as babies with our parents and carers. For lots of children who have experienced early trauma or neglect, understanding and expressing their own emotions and reading others’ facial expressions can be difficult.
Not knowing how you feel, how to say how you feel or how to work out how others feel leads to misunderstandings in lots of areas including at home, with friends and at school.
We used to play a game when the kids were younger to help with naming and understanding emotions and facial expressions. It’s really easy – you just need a mirror, you and your child…
Step 1 name an emotion – happy/excited/sad/angry etc
Step 2 both look into the mirror and make the face!
Step 3 back to step 1, taking it in turns to name the emotion…
Dead easy and lots of fun. I still do it with the kids now that they are older – we don’t need the mirror, we just make faces at each other!
Other things that can help are naming emotions for your child… ‘it seems to me like you’re angry about that…’, it helps them name what they are feeling and build their vocabulary of emotions.
What things have you found help make sense of emotions?
This post was inspired by Misreading Facial Expressions written by my friend, Naomi Richards aka The Kids’ Coach
Related posts:
Noticing
Family history
At a doctor’s appointment with our youngest recently, I was asked whether there was any family history of a relatively minor ailment. It’s a fairly standard question in a lot of doctor-patient conversations. I know what’s lurking in my family’s medical history but I’m less familiar with our children’s. This is not because information was withheld or because I wasn’t paying attention ; ) but because the medical information that is shared at the time of placement tends to focus on things that would have a more immediate impact on your child’s health with less focus on more general health information.
There are a few ways I could respond – make something up, or be a bit vague, or explain why I don’t know the answer – I usually opt for a brief explanation…”‘I’m not sure, x is adopted”. But it all depends on who is asking and the context. We’ve always been open in how we talk about adoption with our children and this definitely helps in situations like this.
My youngest’s response to this exchange? She took great delight in correcting me… “Mum, we are ALL adopted…” making a point of including her brothers.
Holiday time, again!
It’s school holiday time again, and most children in the UK are only at school for about 6 days this month, and not even that for some!
I’ve blogged about holiday times before and no matter the holiday season – summer, festive season, even unplanned breaks due to the weather – the main message is to build a bit of routine and predictability into your holiday time.
You don’t have to be too rigid but lots of the stress and anxiety for children (and so lots of the difficult behaviour) can be reduced by taking away the stress of not knowing what’s happening next. Involve the kids in planning what’s happening, schedule in some free time (with suggestions for what can be put in the free time) and if family visits are part of your holiday think ahead and build in some coping strategies for any of the challenges that might crop up!
My favourite top tip for holiday (and not holiday) time is to use visual planners to make it easier if your child finds it hard to process information…
…and my other one is don’t worry if it doesn’t go to plan!
What are your coping strategies for school holidays? Hope you have a fab time…