AdoptResources's Blog

blogging about adoption, attachment, parenting & family life

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

We’re moving…

leave a comment »

In the interests of keeping all my online stuff under one roof, I am moving my blog over to the AdoptResources website. You’ll find it at www.adoptresources.co.uk/blog/
The blogs will be the same, just under a different address. I’ll keep this one live but there won’t be any new content added… Looking forward to seeing you in our new home ūüôā

Written by adoptresources

October 30, 2011 at 11:13 am

Posted in Uncategorized

Blogging carnival 2011

with 2 comments

blog flipchartLast year I hosted a blogging carnival for National Adoption Week and was amazed at the response. I’m hosting one again this year and would love to hear from anyone who’d like to submit a post related to adoption.

I’m looking for posts from all perspectives in adoption – adoptee, adoptive parent, birth parent, prospective adopter, relative through adoption, practitioner… and from all viewpoints-good/bad/indifferent…

If you’d like to contribute, email details of your post to fiona@adoptresources.co.uk¬†by October 28th. You don’t have to write a post specifically for the carnival.¬† You don’t even have to have your own blog and if you’d like to submit something but don’t want to post it on your usual blog, email me the post and I can include it as a guest blog.

Looking forward to hearing from you…

Related posts
Adoption stories
Adoption Blog carnival
Be my guest

Written by adoptresources

October 11, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Making memories

leave a comment »

black and white photosSometimes in adoption, our attention is drawn to the gaps in our shared history, to the times when we were not together as a family instead of to the memories we are creating all the time. Albums and photos focussing on the early experiences are important to help children build a sense of who they are and to keep hold of some of the important people in their lives. But to help children and families grow together, this reflection also needs to include looking forward and to laying down new memories.

Here’s a few things that can help you and your family build your shared history:

Parallel journey chat about what happened before you became a family, what age you were when they were born, where you worked what you were doing and so on. Look at photos and albums. This helps join bits of your lives together without¬†keeping things in separate¬†worlds. A little PS to this one, don’t expect a captive audience, just gently trickle the information in…

Reminisce chat about things that you’ve done together, what they were like when they were younger, talk about feelings around things that happened – the funny moments, positive times, even sad times. The focus of day to day stuff can often be on difficulties so a reminder of the good old days/moments can help give a bit of a boost…

Commemorate take photos, mementoes, scrapbooks, postcards¬†etc… these help build tangible memories of the things that you’ve done together and helps children not able to hold memories well to have a physical reminder to hold onto…

Celebrate in your way, create memories to look back on and your own family traditions. Choose the events that mean something to your family, these may be adoption related, they may not. Be sensitive to the fact that for some children Adoption Days can be a reminder of loss.

All of these things help build security in families and help us to feel like we belong. I’d love to hear your comments…

This post was published in my Autumn newsletter sign up to receive the next one…

Written by adoptresources

November 25, 2010 at 1:48 pm

Adoption stories: a blogging carnival

with one comment

For National Adoption Week, I wanted to feature more than my perspective of adoption, so I tweeted and blogged an invitation for guest posts and links to blogs from others with a different experience of adoption. I have been amazed and flattered at how generously people have shared their stories. Some have made for quite emotional reading.

adult and child holding handsThere are blogs from adoptees, birth family, adopters at all stages in the process and families thinking about adoption, but the whole spectrum of adoption is by no means covered.

Jo and Greg tell their very different stories of adoption and reunion and for both, how adoption¬†features in their adulthood. Adoption diary describes how¬†one family have made the decision to adopt and start the process, and Blake¬†describes factors they’ve¬†taken into account in their adoption decisions. Tami¬†talks about¬†the difficulties of the in limbo stage of waiting for placement and Me, Him & Junior describe the unbelievable excitement of embarking on the introductions and meeting your child for the first time.¬†QTandme¬†gives a fab account of how to deal with some tactless comments from strangers and¬†Judy writes an amazing blog about parenting, adoption and transracial families.¬†

Adoption is something that affects a huge number of people in some way. I was once told that 1 in 10 people are directly affected by adoption. Every experience is individual, for some it is postive, others negative and for others a mixture of the two. It is so hard to be representative of every situation but by blogging, writing and telling our stories we can hopefully build an understanding of the lifelong impact of adoption.

Thanks again to all the guest bloggers. If you’re reading this and would like to add your experience, please comment or email me.

If you’re on the lookout for more National Adoption Week blog collections¬† here’s some more links: BAAF blogs¬†and how to laugh in the face of it all.

Written by adoptresources

November 5, 2010 at 1:58 am