Conference Report: Somebody else’s child
I was part of a blogging and tweeting team at BAAF’s Somebody Else’s Child private fostering event earlier this week. I learned loads about a topic I’d not really considered much before.
Private fostering is where a child lives with someone who is not their parent or close relative for 28 days or more. The majority of private fostering arrangements work well and offer the child a safe and secure environment. However, cases of child abuse and child trafficking have been identified in some private fostering arrangements.
You can watch some of the presentations online on BAAF’s livestream and if you’re a fan of twitter, search for the twitter hashtag #pfweek.
Bruised before birth
The Adolescent and Children’s Trust (TACT) are running a series of conferences in the UK for professionals, parents and carers about the complexities faced by a child with Foetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) or Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD) and strategies and supports that can help.
FASD affects a number of children who are fostered or adopted and it can affect things like speech and language processing, cause and effect thinking and ability to concentrate. Awareness of different strategies and supports will help both children and families to deal with the impact of FASD.
There are still places left for the conference in Edinburgh this week (Thursday 10th March) and there’s another conference in London on 30th March if that’s closer for you.
I’m going to the Edinburgh conference – let me know if you’re going too…
Holiday time
We’ve just had our half term holiday and it’s back to school tomorrow… I know lots of others are just starting their week’s holiday so I thought I’d post a link to my surviving the summer holidays blog. There’s a few tips in there that might help, especially if your child is one that finds the lack of familiar routine hard to handle.
In a nutshell, the things that can help are building a sense of what’s happening next. Using visual cues – planners, calendars etc. Avoiding overwhelm, keeping things simple. Another biggy is to take the pressure off yourself to have perfect family moments all day, every day. Savour the moments of magic no matter how small they seem…
Enjoy your holidays, I’ll be thinking of you on the school run tomorrow!
It’s not about the numbers
Martin Narey, the outgoing CEO of Barnardos and Tim Loughton, Children’s Minister have called for a reconsideration of current practice in relation to matching ethnicity in adoption to increase the number of adoptions. This is definitely an area that needs to be addressed but the whole matching and approval process would benefit from a bit of TLC. Media attention has focussed on the ‘increasing numbers of adoptions’ message but the real aim should be better processes for everyone involved, not just trying to increase numbers on any side of the equation.
In an ideal world, there’d be fewer adoptions because children would be cared for in their own family. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. So, in the event that a child is not able to be cared for in their own family, the next aim should be to make their journey to a permanent home as short and untraumatic as possible. It’s not about aiming solely to change the figures and stats around adoption but to:
- improve the processes for approval of prospective adopters – with less variation in criteria between agencies
- provide more resources for effective planning and decision making for children taken into care
- improve the matching process and cut down delays in moving children to permanent placements
- improve post-placement support through:
- better assessment of childrens needs at the time of placement in foster care or with their adoptive family
- improved access to support for foster carers and adoptive families
- matching support and resources to the child’s needs and not to their legal status (fostered or adopted)
By focussing on the processes and not just numbers you can improve the outcomes for children and families and surely that should be the aim.
The festive season – continued…
We’ve had a few rest days since Christmas and next on the list of festive celebrations is New Year! I’ve had to take some of my own advice to deal with some of the emotions in our household over the past week. The excitement, endless supply of chocolate and a whole host of other factors have all taken their toll. Not to mention a few sleep deprived nights with our new puppy (but that’s another story).
I’ve had to remind myself to step back from behaviours and find a different way of dealing with things, and hardest of all see where some of my own stuff was getting in the way. Normal service has nearly been resumed but with a few more party days in store, there could be a few hiccups.
Hope your holidays are going well and that you have a fab start to the New Year. Happy 2011!
Related posts
Nutrition tips for the festive season by Susan Kelly, Nutritionist
Top tips for the festive season
Top tips for a tip top festive season!
I’ve just finished a teleseminar discussing some things to think about over the festive season.
You can listen to the replay on the event page and here’s a quick run through of what was covered…
Things to think about:
- Expectations: ours’, children’s, family & friends’
- Excitement and anticipation
- Overwhelm
- ‘if you’re good…’ or ‘if you don’t behave…’ messages
- Birth family: memories, contact
- Triggers
Some of the things that can help include managing expectations, not aiming for glossy mag perfection; using calendars, planners, albums and visual cues to help build a sense of what’s coming next…
and the Top tips:
- keep it simple
- talk about what’s happening next
- stick to the plan/routine if you can
- look behind the behaviour, think about what’s driving it
- aim for fun, not perfection…
Essentially, it’s all about understanding the potential triggers and things going on behind the scenes, and finding ways to manage expectations and feelings. Leave a comment with your survival tips for Christmas…
PS as mentioned on the call, here’s the link to the bbc news video where an adoptee discusses his feelings on his birthday…